Showing posts with label fail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fail. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

UMMMMM.....


Wow.


Really??


Wow.


Where do people find the time??


Wow.


Thanks, niko for the tip-off (haw,haw,haw....)


Image (and funny commentary - because i'm TRULY speechless right now...) courtesy of http://poorlydressed.com/2010/02/28/for-the-girl-who-has-everything/

Thursday, January 28, 2010

TAN YOUR HIDE




I'm thinking there's another direction U.S. Congress could go with their current pre-occupation (that I am behind wholeheartedly...) toward deterring people from U.V. exposure via sunbeds....


Instead of hitting 'em on their hip pocket with the 'tanning' tax, Congress could do how they do with the consumption of tobacco, and wage full assault on the general (tanning) public's visual senses of what could very well be their fate, should they continue such irresponsible tanning practises.


Take it away, visual aid, Donatella Versace!


Imagine walking into your local 'Tropical Burn' (or whatever...) salon and being confronted with a life-sized D.V. eye-balling you - equal parts heckling, daring, seducing (even! hehehe...) you onto the tanning bed....*Shudder+Cold Sweat*.
You cannot convince me that a spraytan looks worse than this.
Scarred.


More in this particular series of truly disturbing health warnings over at - http://www.celebuzz.com/donatella-versace-tans-st-barts-g170191i33870261/

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

KATY PRICE, PLEASE WATCH THIS COMMERCIAL....


Okay - this blog is about nail polish and spraytanning. Pretty trivial things, as far as life goes. And even though both are my livelihood, I try to keep a sense of humour and perspective about the importance of just where these things should sit in the big scheme of things.
....And so far as spraytanning goes, it's just soo much fun dishing it out to our hapless famous lovelies that, despite all the privilege, insider knowledge, money and connections can never seem to quite get it right. But let me tell you, the unrelenting and lop-sided criticism and focus (my own involvement included) on the dodgy side of fake tanning does tend to wreck havoc on the reputation of spraytanning, and therefore my business.
Which brings me to this week, when I was literally stunned by two complete extremes in the area of media/celebrity influence on the subject of tanning, and by association, the very, very real and responsible option of spraytanning.


In Australia (as I lightheartedly touched on in a much earlier post), we are absolutely bombarded and pummelled with all the facts, defense strategies and shock-tactic media from a delicate age about the seriousness, dangers and (distressingly common) fatality of UV exposure and skin cancers. In all of this information, I've never been so affected as I was last night.


When I saw the latest national SunSmart commercial on free-to-air television last night, I could not ignore the urge to post about it - especially in light of part of an interview I also read this week with Katy Price in which she expressed that she was fed up with fake tan and her solution to this problem was not to fade to pale (unlike this Sydney journalist... http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/contributors/farewell-the-tandoori-tan-20100118-mep6.html ), but to start going back to sunbeds.


It really is NO fun being at the end of the finger-pointing and cackling about a spraytan mishap and Katy Price is absolutely allowed to do whatever she likes with her own body and skin cells. My point is not to demonise her. But, I wonder if she seriously comprehends that because of her position in our celebrity/fame/media obsessed world (although, yes... many people do giggle at her - but, however idiotically misguided...) there are also young people being influenced by her stance on these things and will copying accordingly.


I understand 'sunsmart' education could almost be non-existent outside of Australia, but it's frightening to read that Price seems to think you can hedge your bets with cancer and believes because she doesn't smoke, she is in some kind of credit when it comes to developing the deadly disease, so she can afford the UV exposure (ummmm, last I checked lungs and skin are two completely different organs... anyway!).
Even in the U.S., where 'melonoma' is still a truely exotic, enigmatic term, they are beginning to seriously grasp the horror of skin cancer, with Congress mightily trying to push a new tax law through that targets tanning salons, inparticular sun-bed users.
Links to the full Katy Price articles...



This one of the more comprehensive Australian sites about the dangers of UV exposure and they are also the orchestrators of this latest ad campaign.


ANYONE that thinks it's okay to expose their skin to the sun or sunbeds, needs to watch this commercial first. It is realistically terrifying.


I will now get off my soapbox and back into my spraybooth.... (tandoori-spice rub 'n all...)
banner image courtesy of http://www.sunsmart.com.au/

Monday, December 28, 2009

EH??




Now this really is a curious thing.... spraytanning has become so truly pervasive on the global grooming scene that even black chicks want one??? (...and we really gotta get into someone else's tan besides Lundzay's - although my money's on Brooke Hogan and Katey Price to duke it out for top billing in the white girl stakes...)

I heard rumours a while ago, that the Queen Be(yonce) got em, but now Alicia and Keri could be giving the game away here with some bad, baaad DHA (dihydroxyacetone, people...the 'ish that makes you brown (or orange - depending on your level of misfortune on spray day...).

Okay - there could be a few things going on here...

Having sporadically fallen victim of being captured by the lens with a tangerine mug myself, I've become somewhat sympathetic to the insane level of criticism celebrities endure in response to their tanning adventures. Case in point - from one week to the next, I wore the same tan, same makeup, but was under different lighting and photos were taken with a different exposure on a different camera (and i was standing next to fluorescent people...relativity - it can make ALL the difference...) the ensuing result was RIDICULOUS - not to mention embarrassing. I'm sure I'm not the first person in history to notice a remarkable contrast in the colour of something in a photograph to how it looks in real life. So with that in mind, let us proceed...

My professional opinion here with these particular girls is this - it really doesn't look like fake tan mishap to me with Keri - just an off-match with her foundation. Which ain't her fault - her particular makeup artist was having a bad day that day, or ran out of Keri's colour or the lighting in the makeup room was booty... OR the lighting and photo exposure when the shots were taken
weren't balanced. I'm going with bad match with the foundation, as the blogger who first posted this pic pointed out the (slightest) colour disparity between hand and face. BUT...AS IF she's the first girl to ever have mismatched makeup! It's almost the (unintentionally) done thing with ANYONE that wears foundation - in fact, it's so epidemic, it's 98% of all cosmetic companies' shtick for luring eternally hopeful consumers to their particular products - the promise of correctly-matched makeup.
I'm giving her a pass on this one - AND spraytans for that matter.

As for Alicia?? Is she gettin into her Italian heritage, channelling some "Jersey Shore" malarky right here?
These are pap photos taken outside on what looks like a bright sunny day (overexposure should help bleach colour out, if anything...) and this looks to me like a grubby tan layered up with the wrong foundation - and the disparity between her hand and face?? Wow.
Alicia, stay away from it....half Italian, half BLACK - you really (really) don't need it.
Leave it to us sick (but epidermically responsible!) whiteys that ache for any kind of colour (even orange sometimes... *resigned sigh*).

images courtesy of crunk&disorderly http://www.crunktastical.net/

Saturday, December 5, 2009

PUT THE SOLUTION DOWN


She's at it again. Right in the middle of some b.s....

Apparently, Lundz is being sued for STEALING (!!) the formula for some tanning solution and slappin her own label on it - SEVIN NYNE

....Reckon she could steal a dictionary?? (..says me that couldn't find the 'e' in bronzd...)
image courtesy of thesuperfical.com

Monday, November 9, 2009

LUNDZAY...

Here's our lovable Lundzay (serial tanning f#!%-up) once again (...) showing us what NOT to do with your spray tan.

Man, this chick is killing my business - the amount of work i've gotta do to undo what she does for the reputation of spraytanning...

Still, it makes for fun posting! Enjoy...

EH??....

....this pic is making the rounds at the moment, so let me join in the fun to state my bizness...

I'm a big fan of short. I'm a big fan squared off. And believe it or not, I'm actually a fan of this particular artwork... But! Why (why?!) ANY client would want their hands to resemble elephants feet is truly beyond me.

These go straight to the 'Engorged and Disfigured' beauty category, right next to Trout Pout and Monster (let's-schedule-for-back-surgery-next) Tits.

'Bubble Nails' - ladies... are we really THAT bored??