IT'S NOT JUST FOR HAMMERED HOLLYWOOD STARLETS (and you don't have to look (or smell!) like a Halloween pumpkin!)

It's time to give tanning some (sun)shine...

For alot of my cousins in the Northern Hemisphere, spraytanning is the (unintentionally) hilarious and frivolous, exclusive domain of drug-addled celebutantes and their starry-eyed, zombie-esque disciples, and it usually involves Tandoori inspired mishaps of Halloween-level ghoulishness.

In my travels up North, when discussion turns to this subject, I'm often met with the query, "Why don't you just lay out??".

Well, here in the land Down Under (yep, the big one positioned under that hole in the ozone layer...) 'laying out' just ain't an option (no - 'melanoma' is not a delicious cocktail made with cantaloupes...).

Here, spraytanning is actually seen as the ONLY responsible and sun-sensible option to get you that goood colour - and we are serious about our product. Should a spraytanning establishment dare deliver even a mildly peach-toned service, their name is terracotta-coloured MUD.

So, as the temperature (Celsius, thank you...) climbs rapidly in the coming weeks, BRONZD will be showcasing some of the more intriguing tanning products available - some gimmicky, some the real deal - so stay tuned.

And in the meanwhile... Happy Halloween!!

VIVA LA FRENCH! (DON'T try this at home - or anywhere else for that matter!)

You know that old adage, 'Reformed (insert choice addiction here)'s are the WORST!'? Well, I'm here to live by it....

For years, I proudly paraded that pink+white and pushed it on the clientele like I was selling crack - you couldn't tell me n.o.t.h.i.n. about Permanent French. It was all you were ever gonna need. Ever.

Then one cold day, like any indecent obsession, things just went too far. All of sudden, it wasn't clean, fresh OR versatile - it was clunky, dated and....well, tacky. Like someone took 10 Panadol capsules, pushed them in and stuck 'em right there on the end of ya fingers. Yep.

And, so began the looong road away from permanent french acrylic.

I've been keeping an eye on trends, praying no-one was planning on bringing it back. Only during S/S '08 did I see a sneaky reference by Gucci and Versace to a very soft, short, barely-there traditional french manicure (entirely different from fat pink and white acrylic...)

SO...imagine my distress when i saw (my idol) Amber Rose captured a month or so ago, walking in Soho, NY, sporting THESE monstrosities!

Amber...you're hurting me! It's inducing traumatic flashbacks!! Make her stop!!!

I'm counting on this being part of the ironic nod, given all the 80's borderline 90's fever flying around.

I will give her nail chick some dap, though. These particular smashed-in Panadol capsules aren't actually that hideous - ONLY managed by the fact that Amber Rose is sooo ridiculous in her hotness and she keeps her tan game tight (we shall salute her efforts in this area in coming posts) - incidentally, something NOT seen modelled here by Casper Ninja, ghost-stalking A.R....

HEY CHANEL! GET IN LIME...

The humble O.P.I. in 'hey! get in lime!' (not much difference, right?...well, sans pro photography...).

I'm anticipating this may get a go now. Let us see...

JADE... WITH ENVY??

SO! here it is.... the reason for the frenzy-inducing buzz around Chanel at the moment.

I hit up a few other spots to see what was being talked about and reports in nail colour at high-end fashion show front rows were 'ALL blue and green' - which i'm thinking...really??

Music/fashion/style maverick, Erykah Badu and reality tv it-girl, Whitney Port (amongst others) were both rockin this shade of pastel blue for, at least, the last 18 months and have since moved on. Which brings us back to green...

As a nail tech, it's possibly the last colour I want to willingly associate with nails, but look - if you have to wear green, Chanel's JADE is probably the prettiest hue you're gonna get. Incidentally, 12 months ago, i picked up a bottle of O.P.I. 'hey! get in lime!' (essentially exactly the same as Chanel JADE (ummm, is this the cosmetic equivalent to a grade-A bootleg designer handbag?? i digress...)) that i've never been able to crack open. I thought for sure one of my brave little fashionistas would have given it a burl, but - nada. Perhaps it does just take the mighty Chanel nod of approval to get this colour over the line.

The last time a Chanel green was incorporated into such a strong launch (in my memory, anyway - 2001-ish?), it was in a series of jelly-like sheer tints/stains. Sheer being the point, no amount of layering this colour got it away from looking like there were fungal infections on all 10 nails - which I think it's safe to say, is not the look that someone who spends $40 a bottle on nail varnish is going for.

At the end of the day, once it's out of the bottle and on your nails...what brand is it again, ladies??

SHOP TIL YOU DROP

This month's SHOP TIL YOU DROP sees BRONZD given the big thumbs up, in their annual 'best shops directory', by Amber Long, owner of Jean Brown Gallery.

Reknown for her amazing stores, and her impeccable eye for stocking only the must-have luxury fashion brand items, Amber is consistently true to all things elegant and beautiful - including top-notch grooming.

Thanks for the devotion, Amber! BRONZD is devoted right back...

BRONZD BLOG IS COMING...