Monday, December 28, 2009


Now this really is a curious thing.... spraytanning has become so truly pervasive on the global grooming scene that even black chicks want one??? (...and we really gotta get into someone else's tan besides Lundzay's - although my money's on Brooke Hogan and Katey Price to duke it out for top billing in the white girl stakes...)

I heard rumours a while ago, that the Queen Be(yonce) got em, but now Alicia and Keri could be giving the game away here with some bad, baaad DHA (dihydroxyacetone, people...the 'ish that makes you brown (or orange - depending on your level of misfortune on spray day...).

Okay - there could be a few things going on here...

Having sporadically fallen victim of being captured by the lens with a tangerine mug myself, I've become somewhat sympathetic to the insane level of criticism celebrities endure in response to their tanning adventures. Case in point - from one week to the next, I wore the same tan, same makeup, but was under different lighting and photos were taken with a different exposure on a different camera (and i was standing next to fluorescent people...relativity - it can make ALL the difference...) the ensuing result was RIDICULOUS - not to mention embarrassing. I'm sure I'm not the first person in history to notice a remarkable contrast in the colour of something in a photograph to how it looks in real life. So with that in mind, let us proceed...

My professional opinion here with these particular girls is this - it really doesn't look like fake tan mishap to me with Keri - just an off-match with her foundation. Which ain't her fault - her particular makeup artist was having a bad day that day, or ran out of Keri's colour or the lighting in the makeup room was booty... OR the lighting and photo exposure when the shots were taken
weren't balanced. I'm going with bad match with the foundation, as the blogger who first posted this pic pointed out the (slightest) colour disparity between hand and face. BUT...AS IF she's the first girl to ever have mismatched makeup! It's almost the (unintentionally) done thing with ANYONE that wears foundation - in fact, it's so epidemic, it's 98% of all cosmetic companies' shtick for luring eternally hopeful consumers to their particular products - the promise of correctly-matched makeup.
I'm giving her a pass on this one - AND spraytans for that matter.

As for Alicia?? Is she gettin into her Italian heritage, channelling some "Jersey Shore" malarky right here?
These are pap photos taken outside on what looks like a bright sunny day (overexposure should help bleach colour out, if anything...) and this looks to me like a grubby tan layered up with the wrong foundation - and the disparity between her hand and face?? Wow.
Alicia, stay away from it....half Italian, half BLACK - you really (really) don't need it.
Leave it to us sick (but epidermically responsible!) whiteys that ache for any kind of colour (even orange sometimes... *resigned sigh*).

images courtesy of crunk&disorderly

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